LISC U14 Boys European Tour

At 10pm Danish time, your ever-faithful 43-year-old journalist attempted to gain access to the Dana Cup Disco, but was temporarily denied access by security guards due to excessive age; only by showing an official Dana Cup Press Pass was this, your faithful journalist, given access to the interior of the Disco tent. The mere entrance of your faithful, singular journalist resulted in a statistically different demographic of the entirely teenaged crowd inside the disco tent. Conditions in the disco were thumpingly loud, with stroboscopic light assaults, mechanical fog banks, and blatantly obvious stares of teenage "attitude." Perhaps the most obvious breech of decorum was the "DJs" (disc jockeys) who ran the music and light shows; these Danish youth screamed loudly to the crowd, inciting them to dance and bob, using with precision only the English four-letter-words, having mastered especially the longer terms that deal with amorous relations with those females who have successfully achieved the maternal stage of development familiar to the human species. While the disco will continue for two more nights here at the Dana Cup, your faithful journalist has requested from management, and using the unhealthy working conditions clause of his contract, to bypass these last assignments, and to be reassigned to coverage of a local story regarding Danish gardening strategies of the surrounding area.

Robert Baird